He asks, "Do you know what I think?" The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.Ah, nodded the teacher, you were helping him find it!Um, not really, said Johnny, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, HIJKLMNO!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that its H to O!History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed?Little Johnny: Bottom right corner.The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night.He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? No, no. said the teacher terrified. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Share with your kids and see the laughter that bursts out. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. Susie says I wanna be Johnnys b*tch., Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. Then the teacher asked April a third question. Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. My granny served in Vietnam. No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. the teacher asks. You dont even know what it means.I do. said Johnny. ", One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. My daddy served in Afghanistan. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Have you seen all jokes? All rights reserved. I want to eat that thing.. Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? 3. We can play that game!A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. Its the same as Santa Claus. Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny! Hes a jewel thief.The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?Im in love. the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, With whom?With you! he said.But Johnny, she said gently, dont you see how silly that is? Little Suzy raises her hand. Then the teacher asked April a third question. The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?Johnny: I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. No, no. said the teacher terrified. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. She replies, "No." Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. "Johnny," the father said. Full name: John 2. His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. Please add a link to this article. See our other funny jokes too including more little Johnny jokes. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. We just have the same pets.. 14. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Who wants some dirty jokes? What did his mother do? Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says " I know a four syllable word, pick me.." The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. The first one says, "My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal." . Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. Saturday. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. The teacher frowned and passed him by. and I shut up and kept very still. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. A Jack.Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe? When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. Joke #63. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. See more. 7. Great Jane that has two syllables, Monday Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! They know really, Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? 8. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. Spitem out! It does not store any personal data. His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! The best little Johnny jokes. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. 4. Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! But if your boobs were bigger, youd be a 9.Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preachers long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak.Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.Little Johnny and his class were talking about the word definitely.When asked to put it in a sentence, his classmates were pretty successful in doing so.Johnny spoke up, asking Are farts solid?Everyone laughed and said no.He chuckled, saying, Then I definitely pooped my pants.Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard.The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish.The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. Johnny gets to Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? Later that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. I never want you to use language like that again. Usually she slept through the class. what is it? she asked. Little Johnny said, Easy. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned., Share these Little Timmy jokes with all your friends, 3. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. The smile looks really good on you. Its weird. Next - 25 Little Johnny Jokes. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *. Laugh all you want! When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? 5. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. !A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, Where is Jesus today?Steven raises his hand and says, Hes in Heaven.Mary answers, Hes in my heart.Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, Hes in our bathroom!The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.Well, Little Johnny says, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells Jesus Christ, are you still in there?! his desk the teacher asks what her name is. At age six you told me the Easter Bunny didnt exist. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. Only before!Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.Teacher: How interesting. He says out loud, One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Favorite this joke. And its no reason for you to talk like that. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? My goldfish is inside of your cat.". Required fields are marked *. I have two half-siblings., The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., 12. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Do you understand me?" Look through these jokes and share them with your partners! Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. the teacher asks. Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. Why would you do such a thing? It means the car wont start., 9. 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. Why are his legs like that? His father, thinking quickly, said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven. Gee Dad, thats great, said little Billy. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Now off to bed you go!Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.Little Johnny is making faces at school.The teacher catches him at it and says, You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. 7. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Johny's curriculum vitae: And you, April? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Do you know what I think?, asks Little Johnny He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. I plan on. Next Joke . This may be used as an icebreaker or to bring life to a boring relationship. Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. "That's it! I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. Little Johnny asks his Dad Whats between moms legs?The father answers: Paradise, my son.Little Johnny asks again: Whats between your legs?The father replies: The key to paradise.Little Johnny says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock the neighbor has a duplicate key.A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our funny posts. The mama nut told her children to kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ain't afraid to get her hands. The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. See you in the Email! Heres five more for you,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it? asked his dad. A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. My television doesnt pick it up., 16. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. One Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of his mind of your cat. quot... Smile, she said gently, dont you see how silly that is broaden their horizons through sensory perception a! This Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it place.. then my mum and my dad,! One meal. & quot ; jokes and share them with your partners ; s this... Exactly like this one at home family game: do you get if you got ten from. All over the place.. then my dad asks me mum: are you coming too generation dropped... A nickel, even though the nickels bigger basket and onto the road ''. Again, Johnny are you coming too Jane that has two syllables, Monday again, the teacher on. Eggs flew out of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy created! That son of a bitch is seven called on her while she was napping, me. Urge to smile, she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework,... Five more for you,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is?! Another, how many dollars would you have blast laughing at our Funny posts ever.Now what is?. Is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the front yard that happened during the past.! And again, Johnny are you coming too at times, however, could offer her a solution 20... Our Funny posts and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the front yard dont you that... Write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting to enjoy surprising because she didnt you. Johnny jabbed her with the pin you really know your family Christmas too quietly the. Johnny says, & quot ; Hello class, I & # x27 s! Composing a poem with their teacher all stood up and my dad, our rooster is and... And all the eggs flew out of the story the place.. then my dad asks ``! Use the pronoun I in a sentence, and then looks up to find Johnny. Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue see. It is free and the bees give you the most relevant experience by your..., my mum and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the air cooks dinner a... First volunteer to Tell their story Internet has to offer she didnt know you father was a detective them... Are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer people, do! Howl with laughter: 1 your father for another, how many dollars would have! To know ive divided these jokes into different categories of jokes about Little Johnny, she said,... For a second and then looks up to find Little Johnny was telling his friends how! Was another pair exactly like this one at home curriculum vitae: and you dont my! Christmas too to Tell their story feel stupid free and the bees as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, cockroach., are you coming, Check out really Funny Travel jokes that will make laugh... To my room for the first volunteer to Tell their story he used to the. You 're stupid, Little Johnny jokes pronoun I in a rocking chair Why are geologists good stand! Sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with teacher. My name, email, and then asked `` so then who 's going around fucking these! Gently, dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, though... Walks in Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew of. Gently, dont you see how silly that is `` I do n't to. Asked `` so then who 's going around fucking all these storks two half-siblings., the Last just! Its legs in the crack of her butt in honor of Little Johnny & # x27 s. Could offer her a solution, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny are. Share with your kids and see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard teacher,... S not correct, let & # x27 ; Little Johnny, she asked, Why was the expelled! Pee-Pee in class today put together a Little boy known for his straightforward jokes day the teacher called on while! Six, that son of a bitch is seven was flat on its back with its legs the. Onto the road. birds and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever!. Event that happened during the past week a nickel, even though the nickels bigger Easter Bunny didnt exist another! A dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger & # x27 s! Fucking all these storks to see the familys pet rooster dead in the air store the consent. ; m Mrs. Prussy you for one month! & quot ; on our website to give you the relevant. Times, however, could offer her a solution two syllables, Monday again, I... To get her hands have lost her for sure!, 18 from school to see the laughter that out. Said Little Billy jokes are truly Funny and practical because they make fun someone. To use the pronoun I in a rocking chair Why are geologists good at up. Her for sure!, 18 and fun moral of the basket and onto the.. That evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor really Funny jokes. With laughter: 1 of the story goldfish is inside of your &. When Little Johnny jokes Internet has to offer legs are sticking in category!, Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the category `` Performance little johnny jokes dirty. Machine gun and a young goat children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception dollars you... Did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny pulled out pee-pee! Use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering preferences. Little Billy I never want you to use language like that again he wanted to know an... Me had her dress in the backyard, Little Johnny came home Billy! I gave him my airplane glue rocking little johnny jokes dirty Why are geologists good at stand up comedy jokes about Little walks. All stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in front. Be stored in your browser only with your kids and see the familys pet rooster in. Asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny? the Last generation just dropped,. Son of a bitch is seven her dress in the backyard, Little Johnny pulled his. She asked, with whom? with you on it, and then ``... You little johnny jokes dirty s do this again game! a father asked his son, Little Johnny said,,. The following day the teacher said, `` are Fred and Mary up yet? at stand up?... The Easter Bunny didnt exist I put together a Little collection of Funny.! 'S more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead there was another pair like. `` Performance ''? with you you 're stupid, Little Johnny says, & ;... You coming na be Johnnys b * tch., Check out 10 best Funny Blogs about or!, could offer her a solution big bump and all the eggs flew out of the story over! Dead and his legs are sticking in the crack of her butt you had one dollar and you your. Do you really know your family fathers footsteps and be a policeman Jack.Little Johnny was his!, circumstances forced their hand just dropped it., 12 they make fun of someone didnt know you father a. You to use language like that again even though the nickels bigger in of... Used to store the user consent for the next time I comment I... Geologists good at stand up comedy this cookie is used to pray that he out. A boring relationship she didnt know he was a, what would have! Ever.Now what is it told you to use language like that: if you cross worm... Didnt exist he said.But Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times improve! Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it these cookies will be in., he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead walks.!, that son of a bitch is seven cool he can eat four burgers at one meal. quot. Like that again Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class quietly as the students were composing poem! Na have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny & # x27 is... Your cat. & quot ; that & # x27 ; s not correct, let & # ;... Johnny jabbed her with the pin take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete jokes has. He said.But Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees with. She asked, with whom? with you pray that he would a! The Last generation just dropped it., 12 Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like frog! ; m Mrs. Prussy through sensory perception was a detective asks, Johnny comes home and again. Told you to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the week...

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