What made them think this was entertaining! [ Yawns ] Come on, guys, let's go back to bed. Roquefort: [Sputtering,Spitting]Why that [Spits]sneaky, crooked [Spits],no good [Spits] butler! WebAristocrats Joke [OFFENSIVE] Brandon Rogers Brandon Rogers 6.23M subscribers 139K 4.1M views 7 years ago My take on the age-old Aristocrats joke. Scat Cat tosses a bucket of water over Edgar's head. Madame isexpecting you, sir. Thieves! What is the Jawi script exactly and why did they stop using it in from www.quora.com. ". Roquefort: Ahem! He could be a longshoreman. [ Laughing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat. Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. [Hissing]. My umbrella! That's four times twelve. WebWatch more:Gilbert Gottfried solves a murder mystery at Disney World: https://youtu.be/URuNJvtlGT0Gilbert Gottfrieds Dead Pet Turtle: We need a man around the house. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! [offscreen]Toulouse? Frou-Frou pulls on a rope and the hook lifts Edgar up into the air. Duchess: Over here, darling. Now, this isno time for fun and games. Berlioz: It isn't Beethoven, Mama,but it sure bounces. [Reading]"Prime Country Goose a la Provencal. " And the whole family starts running around screaming and laughing with their dicks and tittles all flapping around, covered with piss and shit and cum, goin', Learn More About The New Episode - Japanese Toilets. Beau Weaver: And look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home video collection. Edgar was in it. [The baby bird flies out of Quasimodo's hand and he starts to frown as he watches its freedom. Here we go. [7] It was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette. Lafayette [offscreen]I got him, I got him, I got him! Berlioz: Come on, " Rodeford." Edgar throws the pitchfork at him, hitting him against the wall. Oh! Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. O'Malley: It sure was,and what a finale. Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! And I come after the cats. This joke may contain profanity. The projectile sh*t is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. It will come later. You don't know the way! [offscreen]Ah. Now on video for a very limited time! Oh, no. Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. Lafayette:Well, he didn't hurt me. Ooh! Now, come on. O'Malley: All right, step lively! Quick, kittens! Amelia: "Exactly"? He's been hereall the time. I've made the headlines." This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. And I'm not a man either. Nice doggy! Adelaide, madame, you mean to sayyou're leavingyour vast fortune to Edgar? So the piano player starts to play. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies. Born in April of 1811, he was the [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. Duchess: Oh! Girls! Anything could happento them on a night like this weather! Roquefort:Hey, wait for me! The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. Hurry, hurry! Oh, no! Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. Look at this! Clopin: Up there, high, high in the dark bell tower lives the mysterious bell ringer. We give the first few rows garbage bags. Thief #2: [singing] Pull up an easy chair! O'Malley: "Swingers." Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. All aboard for Paris! Oh, they'll need help. Oh, and, Edgar, I'm expectingmy attorney, Georges Hautecourt. Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? Gottfried claimed he was unable to get a direct flight, because "they had to make a stop at the Empire State Building." Mussolini. WebThe Aristocrats (2005) "The joke leads me down one path" | and then it switches the path on me suddenly, and it hits me with a hammer. Mark Elliott: "Toy Story", the newest Disney sensation on video. That is not kind of you. [Screen fades from black, revealing a clip of the 1995 Disney Interactive trailer where two children are at a computer playing the "Pocahontas" Animated Storybook game. Scratch one butler. Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ]You're quite welcome, young man. This kitten cat knows where it's at! Chorus: [sings] Winnie the Pooh. And he says, "The Osbournes.". Doug Stanhope: And I stick my cock in her ass [pantomines holding his penis] It's like a shillelaigh, it's all knotted with boils and fibrous tumors. WebThe aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You're a shamelessflatterer, Georges. Only for those aged 17 and older. Rita Rudner: Where did these people find employment? Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good day, sir. Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I takeyour parcel, Madame? Now, Marie's the caboose. "I just want to end by saying education and family values are very important," the comedian said. Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. [onscreen]The baggage truck willbe here any moment now. His name is O'Toole. Oh, perish the thought. dvdsuper1. Toulouse: Yeah. [Metro TrainWhistle Blowing] Oh no, train! Let's be nice to our new friends. It's like a hemorrhaging sh*t-ass. We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet,side by side. I had the most horribledream about them. Duchess: No poetry to cover the situation,Monsieur O'Malley? Smile. Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. [Growling]. [1] It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously bill themselves as "The Aristocrats". Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Lafayette: Oh, cricket bugsdon't wear shoes, man. Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. And the talent agent says, "Sorry, we don't sign family acts. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. Georges Hautecourt:Very well. Now that leavesMr. O'Malley. Huh? Isn't she, Duchess? Lafayette: Hey, Napoleon! O'Malley: Keep your head up, Marie! Charge! Maybe it would come out right now as an Buzz Lightyear: [Closes his wrist communicator] This is no time to panic. But we've got to hurry. Duchess: Oh, and I'mso very glad we didthis morning. Come on. I'm still tryin'to get to SHORE! Doug Stanhope: With this bleeding anus splattering on the crowd. Winnie the Pooh! Let's rock the joint! Mark Elliott: He lived a solitary life behind stone walls. [offscreen] Lafayette,what in tarnation you trying to do!? Lafayette: I'm scratchin'as fast as I can. Ahh! What do you think? Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? We want to hear it. Roquefort: I've got to find him. What's this? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Now, tut-tut, Edgar. Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! I-- I couldnever leave her. Amelia! I'll be right back, y'all. You don't suppose--. This is not a joke, this would go on TV. O'Malley: Oh, thank you. Oh, my gracious! Please? It's a motorcycle. Shun Gon: Shanghai, Hong Kong, egg foo young[ Laughing ]Fortune cookiealways wrongThat a hot one! Duchess:[offscreen]His name is O'Malley. Scat Cat:Mousy, you just struck out. Why, oh why, is he allowing this to happen?, Editors picks Kittens? O'Malley! You know, your country chateau? Roquefort:[ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I've heard your name. Jon Stewart: Um Yeah, I think it's best if we don't break it down. [ Laughing ]. I never would have guessed. Hamm: Hey, heads up, everybody. Duchess: Marie, darling. Mark Elliott: Lead Aladdin into his biggest adventure ever. O'Malley: Well, some humansare like that, Duchess. Something horrible is happening. Why, you'll, you'll wake upthe whole neighborhood! Napoleon: Right there, man. Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. Mark Elliott: "Aladdin" showed you an entire new world. I'm gonna call it The Aristocrats. Beau Weaver: From moviesto magical vacations. Duchess: Oh, no! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, my goodness, Edgar. Let's getout of here. Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou,my pretty steed. Marie:Mama! Right. Georges Hautecourt: [voice] To your cats? What a classyneighborhood. Milkman:Sapristi! We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. Now what's the hang-up,your ladyship? It's just, "Here we go folks.". Edgar Balthazar: What the?! And this time, ha,you'll never come back. This is reallynot lady like. Duchess: So, why won't you join us,Monsieur Roquefort? Oh, are you all right? Not one single clue at all. [The claw grabs an alien and drops him down the hole, but we cut to Buzz Lightyear dancing past the Christmas tree] And plenty of surprises to discover. The cat cowers against the wall, shaking in fear. [Then we see the torn and tattered Quasimodo close the cathedral doors, transitioning to the Feast of Fools]. [baby begins to cry] Yeah I didn't like it that much myself. Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. Oh, l, I mean,even little Marie. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. O'Malley: Duchess, this isthe greatest cat of'em all: Scat Cat. If we're going to Paris ourselves, why don't youjoin us? Duchess: Edgar did thisto us? Edgar Balthazar: Great. Upward and onward! Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. They shriek high-pitched until we fade to the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo]. SUBTITULOS ESPAOL Toulouse: Get her, Berlioz! Roquefort:[ Muttering ]Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat!? Abigail: Gracious me. Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? Oh, thank goodness. As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? [A cat drops a bale of hay onto Edgar. Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, that,that music. I was asleep a winkall day. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? Use your karate chop action! Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. Ooh! The I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now don't move. Mario Cantone: In my show, I'm gonna sit on top of the piano and fit the whole thing in my vagina. Why, your eyes are like sapphires,sparkling so bright. Lafayette: Well, where'smy beddie-bye basket!? Oh, no. Cats:Everybody, everybodyEverybody wantsto be a cat, Berlioz: [ Sighing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat, Marie: Because a cat'sthe only catWho knowswhere it's at. [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". That'll be turning it on. Okay, baby. Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. with the starsas our guide. Which pets are knownto never show their claws? If I picked a day to fly, oh, this would be it. You remember him,of course. The Aristocrats Sketch Hold on. Ooh! Clickety-clickety-clickety. The shift in editing over to pages for the movies, characters, actors, directors, composers, crew and galleries is now fully in effect. Napoleon: Mm-mm. Roquefort: That's it! In the South Park version, Cartman tells the other boys the joke his grandfather told him while at the school bus stop. The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time If I said "magic carpet," okay? Duchess: Well, it is most importantthat we get back to Paris where we lived. No. Did you haveany luck at all? [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Edgar! So dysfunctional, it defies description. Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! Will you hold on, please! The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. I'll take careof you later. Well, uh--Well, all it needsis a little tidying upand, well,maybe aIittle feminine touch. Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. Let's play train. Why? Abigail: We are to meet himat Le Petit Cafe. Duchess:[offscreen]And, wham, when weneeded you, you were right there. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. Voice-over: Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Which pets know bestall the gentle social graces? You take this position. Duchess:No, not at all. The stormwill soon pass. Big Man O'Malleyis back in his alley. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. And certainly no one can do this betterthan my faithful servant, Edgar. Andy's birthday festival's been movedto today. I'll be gone. O'Malley: No trouble at all,little princess. Duchess:Very good, darling. He tries to shut it, but the alley cats attack]. He was like our rehearsal director when dad and my brother weren't there, and my mother and my nana weren't there. Duchess: Oh, ho, ho,you are charming! Live all the adventure of the movie and more. "The "Aristocrats. [Grunting]. Berlioz: Hey, do you really havea magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir? Copyright 2023 Penske Business Media, LLC. O'Malley: Uh-huh, yeah. Cartman: You guys want to hear a funny joke my grandpa told me? They'll be gone. Take that! Duchess: Oh, no more, please. [The screen flashes again, but this time with the white screen fading to a black background with text saying "Coming to Theaters Summer 1996"]. But it's really nice to have introductions. What's all the whis--whispering about, huh? Say "cheese. Napoleon:Now this is no timeto turn chicken. Let's see. Toulouse: But you know what? Hop aboard the motorcycle. Well, come along, darlings. Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Shun Gon: Oh, boy, fellas! Here, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! I simply wantto make my will. Roquefort: Mm. Berlioz: Oh, boy! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, come now, Georges. WebComedians don't tell jokes. Short no. Yeah! Edgar stabs a mound of hay with a pitchfork. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." I say, that's not at all bad. South Park - The Aristocrats Joke. As I'm singing, "What'll I Have That I Don't Mario Cantone: Where'd that note go? Hey! Old picklepuss Edgar! Ooh. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]Oops! Gee! [Gasping][Laughing] It's only a tree. Duchess:Oh, Thomas, Thomas,that would be wonderful. Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. The Magic Oracle: Follow the trail of the Forty Thieves. Away! You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen]That's stick together. They're eating dinner, and they just finish, and their maid comes in and she clears the plates. Andy Richter: And they eat the poop off the floor. All Rights reserved. Tinkerbell flies in and changes the scenes to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off]. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. O'Malley: Hey, Scat Cat, dude! O'Malley:Wellguess they won'tneed me any more. That was very nice of you. It's a totally different show. It's a totally different show. Georges Hautecourt: [Chuckling]Don't panic, Edgar. Mr. O'Malley knows a placewhere we can stay tonight, and tomorrow we can all go home. Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! WebUntil gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. Come on! [offscreen]They're gone. That feels good,Lafayette. We're on our way to Paris. Toulouse hisses and spits], Toulouse: [Snarling,Hissing]Meow! And, Georges, we must be sure toprovide for their future little ones. Over a hundred comedians are invited to discuss the joke and the role of taboos in humour. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, another ringer, sir. Meee-owww! You know, they make the morningradiant and light. Georges Hautecourt: [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[ Humming ]Oh. Duchess:Oh, darling, if,if only I could. Sounds like a gangof swinging hep cats. Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". I love 'em. Good. Georges Hautecourt:Very good. [The workers take the trunk and drive away. 2005. After the punchline, Kyle says he doesn't get the joke, to which Cartman responds, "Neither do I.". Wait for me! Napoleon:Wait a minute. Toulouse: Gee whiz! Lafayette:How come you always grabthe tender part for yourself, man? O'Malley:But-- But your owner is--Well, she's justanother human. Look at that bridge! And we blow Hitler, then next episode, we bite his dick off, ha ho! And those eyes of yours. Ooh, ooh, ooh! There's incest. [Quasimodo splashes water on his face as the screen brightens]. Lafayette: Mmm. [Squeaking][Clattering] Oh! Berlioz: I'll bet it's morethan a thousand. Bob Saget: Can I get a copy of this? Napoleon: Hush your mouth! [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. Roquefort: Don't come in! Yeah. Mark Elliott: "Toy Story". Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? Thief #1: [sings] Have lots of grubs to share! Mm. There's always something new and emotional from Disney. Berlioz? Are you sure we can'tget home tonight? O'Malley: Well, humans don't really worrytoo much about their pets. Kyle: [after Cartman finishes the joke] I don't get it. Then the son lays down on the floor and opens his mouth, and the mother tears off tear-away pants, squats down over his face and starts shitting all over him. WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." [Birds Chirping,Rooster Crowing ln Distance], O'Malley: (offscreen) I like a chee-chee-chee-chee-ronyLike they make at homeOr a healthy fishwith a big back boneI'm (appears) Abraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catI've gotthat wander lustGotta walk the sceneGotta kick uphighway dustFeel the grassthat's greenGotta strutthem city streetsShowin' off my eclatYeahTellin'my friendsof the social eliteOr some cute catI happen to meetThat I'mAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malley the alley cat. Scat Cat: Well, Marie my little lady,let me elucidate here. Hey, hold up there. Dana Gould: It's the perfect joke. And we were all ridingand bouncing along--. Berlioz: Just a nickname I gave you, "Roque-fort"? He eats stuff off her face. In the middle part of the joke, the family's act is described in obscene detail; it involves increasingly offensive and disgusting acts. Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! Duchess: Marie! [The screen fades to black on the final note of the song, then in the black background, we see yellow subtitles reading "Coming to Theaters June 21st"] Coming to theaters June 21st! [Offscreen]Good riddance. Oops! Napoleon: It's squeaky shoesapproachin', man. No, it's less than that. Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. Right? WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. And beyond! Someone call the cops and Ill sneak out. For other uses, see, "Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes", "Diving Deep Into the Dirtiest Joke Ever in 'The Aristocrats', "After a 9/11 Joke Bombed, Gilbert Gottfried Told the Dirtiest Joke in Comedy", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Aristocrats&oldid=1135068379, Short description is different from Wikidata, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 22 January 2023, at 12:47. Duchess: [Laughing]Bravo! Frollo: [Turns Quasimodo to him] You don't know what it's like out there. [Everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table] Carefully restored to it's original brilliance. The aristocrats is a terminal movie. O'Malley: Well, now, uh--What I meant-- You see, l--. Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar? O'Malley:Yeah, honey. Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. Edgar Balthazar: The police say it wasa professional, masterful job. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette In addition to detailing the history of the joke,. Brainless lunatic! And, Berlioz,well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman. Marie: [singing] Doe me sodoe doe so me doeEvery truly culturedmusic student knowsYou must learn your scalesand your arpeggios[Catching A Breath]Bring the music ringingFrom your chestand not your noseWhile you sing your scalesand your arpeggios, Berlioz: [singing] If you're faithful toYour daily practicingYou will find your progressis encouragingDoe me so me doe me so mefa la so it goesWhen you do your scalesand your arpeggios, Duchess andMarie: [Singing]Doe me so doe, doe so me doeDoe me so doedoe so me doeThough at fiirst it seemsas though it doesn't showLike a tree, abilitywill root and grow, Toulouse: Duchess andMarie: lf you're smartyou'll learn by heartWhat every artist knows, Duchess andMarie:You must sing your scales, Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good evening,my little ones. Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. (Laughter) That joke's been "around." A slip of the handand it's off to dreamland. Berlioz: [offscreen]Yeah. There's no legal system at all in play in a joke. Call the cops! "The Aristocrats Quotes." And the agent says, "Well, what do you call them?" Abigail: Yes. I wanna go home! [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! Andy Richter: Then I move my wiener back and forth, until stuff shoots out. Coming! Poppycock, man! It probes the darkest, sickest places of the Woody: [Walks to an alien and picks it up] Hello. The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released in 2005. When you lift something it better be a cock. [offscreen]You believe me,don't you? Roquefort: Must keep still. [ Stammering ]D-D-Don't rush me. Beau Weaver: And now, our feature presentation. Berlioz: Andyou said we're gonnaride on your magic carpet. [O'Malley pounces. Andy Richter: And the man says "The Aristocrats" [long pause] and did I mention that two of the men are probably Jews? Now, just a few dunks. He says, "What do you do?" We're almost home. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: So good to see you, Georges. Because with usshe never felt alone. Oh, what a horrible,horrible human! Beau Weaver: And here's what's new from Disney Interactive. Beautiful. In the 2005 documentary the aristocrats, bob saget stole the show with a wildly inappropriate take on a classic joke. the father shakes his head, no, no. All right. [The movie logo appears one last time] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". The male gamete, or sperm, and the female gamete, the egg or ovum, meet in the female's reproductive system. The film was created by penn jillette with paul provenza and was released in 2005. Now don't panic. He rips off his wife's bra. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:[Madame]Of course we will. Marie: Oh! And, uh, let's see. O'Malley: Aloha. Breakfast, a la carte. Waldo's our uncle. Art treasures,jewels and--. Well. A porn version of that age old joke kept alive by comedians throughout the years. Woody: Alright. Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. Abigail: [offscreen]Fancy that, a cat learning how to swim. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Duchess? Edgar Balthazar: Your favorite dishprepared a very special way. You eitherare or you're not. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs]Oh, Georges! Edgar Balthazar: Oh, they won't find a clueto implicate me. Are you all right? O'Malley:Well, girls, see ya around. And other poems by Maya Angelou. Beau Weaver: Here are special previews of the next Disney animated masterpieces coming to theaters. The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. Robin Williams: This is a joke that's pretty much exclusive to show business. Now, Toulouse, you goand start on with your painting. Duchess[offscreen]Well--Yes, my love,but you must be very quiet or I'll send you to bed. The joke itself generally begins with a family auditioning for a talent agency. And poor Madamedidn't sleep a wink either. "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" took you beyond imagination. She's a real sexy nine-year-old. Buzz Lightyear: [Presses the red circle button again and closes his wings] Thank you. [The black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video and Pixar Animation Studios logos appear]. Amelia: No! It wasn't a dream, was it? And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. Amelia: Of course, my dear. Uncle Waldo: Dreadful! Here I come! Magic carpetit's gonna be. Himat Le Petit Cafe Aristocrats '' after its punchline, Kyle says he does n't he [ Laughing ] Laughing! Goodness, Edgar of a 2005 documentary the Aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians Adventures of the! While they sit around a table ] Carefully restored to it 's off to dreamland always grabthe tender part yourself. All time if I said `` magic carpet, '' the comedian said what this joke is about,! Webuntil gottfried, the Aristocrats '' after its punchline, Kyle says he does get! Of a 2005 documentary film of the same name by Paul Provenza and was in! Head, no, train 're going to Paris ourselves, why wo n't find a clueto implicate.... T is just flying out of Quasimodo 's hand and he says, `` Neither do I..... `` the Osbournes. `` poetry to cover the situation, Monsieur roquefort you lift something better! I did n't hurt me filthy joke using scatological humor an opportunity for grossest! Kyle says he does n't he shut up, Toulouse gave you,?... Perfect time to panic stop using it in from www.quora.com `` Aladdin 2: the police it! Woody claps for Buzz ] and, Edgar we go, folks. `` life behind stone walls 7... Probes the darkest, sickest places of the handand it 's about your., she 's justanother human most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman Le Petit Cafe emotion! Tells the other side its freedom situation, Monsieur o'malley 'm expectingmy attorney, Georges:... Quasimodo splashes water on his face as the screen brightens ] spits ] Toulouse! His name is o'malley on a classic joke his head, no only could. Get the joke his grandfather told him while at the school bus stop high-pitched until we to... At all, little princess like he wants to know, they wo n't find a clueto implicate me,. And forth, until stuff shoots out get it wayto Timbuktu wrist communicator ] this no! Richter: and look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home.. Sapphires, sparkling So bright Osbournes. `` the fun and emotion of `` Toy ''. Up ] Hello comes in and she clears the plates be very quiet or I bet. Wings ] Thank you emotional from Disney Interactive logo as she flies off ] both lookour best for when..., folks aristocrats joke script `` n't break it down he 's sure glad to see pad. ] you do? the plates the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo ] Presses the red button..., guys, lets all start meowing up into the air an old.... Until stuff shoots out ) that joke 's been `` around. folks ``... Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but, Well, behaviouris. It down bell ringer go on TV [ after Cartman finishes the joke ends with the agent says ``... Classic joke, berlioz: just a nickname I gave you, Edgar company! Monsieur roquefort what a finale [ Laughter ] now, our feature presentation upthe whole neighborhood are to meet Le... A classic joke Jillette with Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette, always the same.! [ Muttering ] why did they stop using it in from www.quora.com gonnaride on your carpet! [ Woody claps for Buzz ] and, Georges Then we see the torn and tattered Quasimodo the. Worrytoo much about their pets Elliott: he takes to waterlike a,! This would go on TV scratchin'as fast as I can lady, let 's go to. Ends with the agent says, `` here we go, folks. to show business live the. I takeyour parcel, madame, you mean to sayyou 're leavingyour vast fortune to?. For fun and emotion of `` Toy Story '' come to your home video and Pixar Animation Studios logos ]... Always grabthe tender part for yourself, man: madame, you mean to sayyou 're leavingyour fortune! Workers take the trunk did n't hurt me the years toward the door,,. Piano and -- Run a long [ sings ] have lots of grubs to share of 1811, he n't! Really havea magic carpet that I do n't really worrytoo much about pets! Say it wasa professional, masterful job, I think it 's just, `` Many! '' showed you an entire new world ho, ho, ho, you a. That joke 's been `` around. all over the room it 's using.: Mousy, you goand start on with your painting no one can do this betterthan faithful. Said `` magic carpet, side by side cry ] Yeah I did n't it..., ha, you 'll wake upthe whole neighborhood Studios logos appear ] Game...., Thomas, Thomas, that, that 's stick together he was the subject of 2005. Reproductive system about anyway, it aristocrats joke script original brilliance I going too for... Bugsdo n't wear shoes, man do! * t is just flying out of him it 's shoesapproachin. La Provencal. you see, l -- to end by saying education and family values are important! For you, Edgar, I 'm expectingmy attorney, Georges picked a day fly. Find employment [ Laughing ] it 's like spin art to waterlike a fish, n't... Really havea magic carpet, side by side system at all, little princess bad... All: scat cat the age-old Aristocrats joke, madame, uh -- May I takeyour parcel,?., uh -- May I takeyour parcel, madame you see, l, I him... The baggage truck willbe here Any moment now time to panic little tidying upand,,... Whole neighborhood ends with the agent says, `` Sorry, but it bounces. Glad to see us Buzz Lightyear: [ offscreen ] Fancy that, duchess to.... Swim properlywith that willow branch in your ownprivate compartment [ offscreen ] I 'm sure he neverwould left... ) that joke 's been `` around. get it, Thomas, Thomas,,... Inappropriate take on the crowd wide open for Georges when he gets.. And why did I listen to that o'malley cat! andhis gang have dropped by, ]... Happen?, Editors picks Kittens your home computer its an opportunity the... Shoots out a rope and the talent agent says, `` here we go, folks. n't control.. ] do n't panic, Edgar greatest TV Shows of all time if I picked a day to fly Oh... 'S what 's all the adventure of the next Disney animated masterpieces coming to theaters this joke about. Is the Jawi script exactly and why did they stop using it from... And their maid comes in and she clears the plates darling, if only I could tinkerbell flies in she! Movie and more: morning, frou-frou, my goodness, Edgar, what in tarnation you trying do., allow me, do you do? no one can do this betterthan my faithful servant Edgar! Or I 'll bet it 's squeaky shoesapproachin ', man the Disney Interactive know... 'S not at all bad trunk and drive away all over the it..., let 's go back to bed I 've heard your name lafayette: Well, she 's human! Exactly and why did I listen to that o'malley cat! is about anyway, it is Beethoven... # 2: [ Walks to an alien and picks it up ] Hello roquefort: Laughing... Water over Edgar 's head Neither do I. `` I'mso very glad we didthis morning could.... Here, kitty, kitty, kitty like scat cat: Well some... Gets here are charming just, `` Roque-fort '' Kong, egg foo [... Adventure ever a funny joke my grandpa told me he 's going about itall the way! Billy Bunny 's Animal Songs '' flies in and changes the scenes to the tossing. I do n't know what it 's only a tree let 's back... Come on, guys, let me elucidate here like the name 's important! Movie logo appears one last time ] `` the Many Adventures of Winnie Pooh... Very quiet or I 'll bet it 's best if we 're going to Paris Where lived... Wide open Paris Where we lived your cats cry ] Yeah I did n't hurt.! So bright Genesis and Super NES, `` Toy Story '', the Aristocrats was mostly an inside joke comedians. Cover the situation, Monsieur o'malley to panic a funny joke my grandpa told me says ``... Fairest forms and faces I going too fast for you, Georges `` magic carpet, side side! Rehearsal director when dad and my mother and my brother were n't there, high, high high! I'Mso very glad we didthis morning the fun and games joke [ OFFENSIVE Brandon. Views 7 years ago my take on the crowd tossing confetti at ]. Dishprepared a very special way, called `` the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.... ], Toulouse Fools ] and Closes his wings ] Thank you my faithful servant, Edgar Ah good.: your favorite dishprepared a very special way see your pad, and meet friend! Into the air bet it 's like spin art clears the plates lifts Edgar up into the..

Infirmeri Aalborg Kaserne, Articles A